Dot.Doom Fever - A historical story.

One long hot summer, when the internet was still in its infancy, an epidemic swept through Planet Wonga, where I once lived. This is the story of that time.

During the outbreak, previously rational people, myself included, caught a debilitating illness called Dot.Doom fever. Even though the fever was contagious, there were no physical symptoms and the fever could only be diagnosed by observing the symptoms of irrational behaviour and delusions that infected people displayed. Although not everyone caught the illness, every sector of society was affected: from doctors to cab drivers, hair dressers to solicitors, office workers to architects.

Prior to the epidemic, people used to go about their usual business of building houses in a slow and controlled manner: first the foundations, then the walls, followed by the roof and, finally, the additional luxuries like roof gardens and hot tubs.

One of the most pernicious effects of the Dot.Doom fever was that, in the early days, it made people feel like Masters of the Universe and every house they touched seemed to turn to gold. As you can guess, people started building more and more houses. Some of the afflicted even borrowed Wongatons, the currency of Planet Wonga, to build or buy more houses.

The Widget Maker - A story.

Gerry made widgets. He loved making widgets and so did his team of widget makers. He loved widgets so much, he even called his business 'WidgetsRUs'. The only thing Gerry loved more than widgets, his wife and kids excluded, was cold hard cash.

Being a smart man, Gerry charged £X each per widget and then slapped a trailing charge of between 1% and 2% a year on each widget he sold, depending on the widget. (Gerry sold a whole range of different widgets - each type designed to do something slightly different).

The only thing that cast a cloud over Gerry's happy world was having to deal with the people who bought small amounts of his widgets. He didn't mind the people that placed massive orders so much, it was more the little buyers that used to ring him up for only 50 widgets at a time that annoyed him.

Indeed, he had once been known to yell down the phone at a startled little buyer, "What do you think this is? A 10p pick and mix store!"

The Chessboard: A story

Once upon a time, in a far a way kingdom, lived a king who was very greedy and taxed his people until they were almost broke and starving. The king was not a totally bad bloke - just very greedy, foolish and far too removed from his people.

Early one morning, the king decided to go for a swim in the sea. Slipping out of the palace, the king headed to the beach leaving his guards and servants unaware of his whereabouts.

The Debt: A story

It was a grey and rainy day in a village deep in the

countryside. To the untrained eye, the village was sleepy. The word 'ghostly' would be a better description. A new motorway nearby had pretty much sent the village spiralling into obscurity.

The village was a shadow of it's glorious past and times were hard for everyone. People preferred to shop in the ''pile 'em high, sell 'em cheap' cathederals of consumerism located out of town. In these tough times, shoppers had chosen price and convenience over personal service.

Everybody was in debt and relying on credit to see them through. The few remaining small businesses in the town were hanging on by a thread.

On this particular day, a wealthy tourist was travelling through the village, on his way to somewhere else. Initially charmed by the first appearances of the quaint little village, he decided to spend the night in the village. Looking for somewhere to stay, he stopped at the local Bed & Breakfast and laid a £50 note on the desk, telling the B&B owner that he wanted to inspect the rooms upstairs before booking a room.

This is where we pick up the story.

The ship: A story

If I knew where I'd heard it, I'd say but I can't remember. Anyway, here goes:

There was a ship owner who had a problem that was causing him much aggravation. He had a new ship due to launch but it wouldn't start. His engineers had tried to fix the problem but it was all in vain.